“Patience” says the teacher.
“But when?” asks the student.
“When it is time.”
It is easy to conclude that patience is about doing nothing, about waiting, about delay.
That is not patience.
There is no point to waiting for goals to ripen when our lives can end in seconds. There is no point to hoping for a better day that may never come. This is not patience, this is waiting.
What is patience, then?
Patience is noticing. It is the asking of a question without too fast an answer. Perhaps the question is: is now the time to try again? Shall I use more force, more gentleness, something else? Will any effort move this forward, or must the world first change around me?
How can we know? We cannot know. Knowing is beyond us. But looking and seeing is not beyond us. Patience is a way of looking and seeing.
It is human to strive to gain what we desire. We imagine how the world could be with this thing in hand. In our imagining and planning we can forget to see how things are now. Thus blinded, the goal is even harder to grasp.
We may act or pause out of fear, fear of wasting time, fear of making mistakes. When fear drives us, this is also not patience.
Patience is not a lack of action, but a way of action. Patience is looking at what we want without desire and fear blotting out detail. Patience is pausing to look, taking measure of what is before us.
My offered practice: consider a delayed or thwarted desire. Hold the matter keenly in mind and heart. Allow drive and planning to come to the fore. Then pause. Breathe into desire to loosen and lighten it a little. Put aside planning for a moment. Notice the desire, touch it gently, but also look beyond and through it. Slow the moment. Watch the world through this slowed moment.
Patience is engaged observation.
Look again at the matter. Through desire and fear at the thing itself. Take measure of the situation. Is it time to try again? Let the flow of the world continue first? A third direction? A fourth?
Take another moment. Notice how things are. Look at the world beyond desire, past planning, past imagination.
This is patience.
“patience is engaged observation” This is very helpful.
Can you say more about watching the world through a slowed moment? I’m not sure I understand how to do this.
[...] The Guru’s Handbook talks about patience — Interesting stuff. [...]
Janet,
I can suggest a general practice. Take a moment. Slow your thoughts, your emotions, your movements, your perceptions. Change nothing in particular except the speed at which you move, act, think, feel, decide. This may change other things as well, but the intent of the practice is to simply slow down what you already do. A couple of slow breaths can help with focus.
Please let me know if this is useful. Or irrelevant to your request. Or both.
I am often told to slow down by my teacher, so I’m sure it will be a good practice. These simple ones are generally the best. I’m seeing how my tendency is to look for more complication than really is there.
I practisize vipasana meditation to reach this goal of slowing down. Do you think it is a good tool for it or you would advice another one? Many thanks in advance.
Vicenta, hello and welcome.
Please be careful when someone tells you, without knowing you, that a particular techinque is (or is not) right for you. Because I don’t know you, I advise you to take my advice — and that of anyone who doesn’t know you — with caution. A teacher, a friend, a mentor — someone who knows you — might be a better choice.
That said, based on what little I know of Vipassana, if this practice calls to you as a tool for slowing down, it is probably both useful and worth doing.
Janet, I followed you here from GAIA (thanks). Wow! I’m with you Janet, “. . . engaged observation” I see now that our actions don’t stop, but that we can more fully live with them by noticing in a non-crazed way. This is certainly a challenge in a society like ours that pushes us to hurry up, do more, and get through and past the things we feel we must do. Lot’s of impatience in our society.
Thanks for this post Asher.
Thank you for reading and commenting. Even in our busy lives, practice is always available. When my cat watches a bird, no one would say she is doing nothing. When I notice myself watching the world, I can ask: am I, too, engaged in this moment?